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Worried About My Fiancee

This is a long post, so I apologize. I've been very worried about my fiancee for the past year or so. I'm just going to list some of the reasons why.


She has week-long periods every month or two where she:

-Wishes she'd be hit by a car or put into a coma

-Cries often

-Feels constantly frustrated

-Feels the future will never get better

-Feels like she hasn't been happy in years

-Loses interest in work and hobbies

-Has insomnia


And then in general she:

-Constantly feels "dirty" and "disgusting" (she's a former model, and attracts constant positive attention)

-Has struggled with eating anxiety in the past (fear of weight gain, fear of eating in public, eating almost nothing for days)

-Says that her sex drive has gone down dramatically a few years ago

-Was sexually assaulted a few years ago

-Began crying after sex recently, but doesn't know why, and has said she avoids sex now to avoid crying

-Went to the police about an ex-boyfriend (who has harassed and stalked her in the past and more recently)

-Grew up and still regularly sees an emotionally and physically abusive mother

-Says that she no longer feels like a good person

-Changes from depressed to happy/hyperactive and back often and quickly

-Has recently built a successful business with plans to donate much of proceeds to charity

-Is a part of a fitness community and is usually active

-Does not drink, smoke, or use drugs

-Will shop and spend large amounts of money (which she can mostly afford) to relieve stress

-Possible signs of adult ADHD? (periods of hyperactivity, impulsive, irritable forgetful, can't focus, racing thoughts, anxious, bored, mood swings, depression, insomnia…)


We have been having problems. I'm not a doctor, but I feel pretty certain she has depression or an anxiety disorder. I think she believes the issue is that we are not right for each other. I think if she's hoping to fall into a coma, she absolutely needs to talk to someone immediately.

I would like her to talk to a real therapist in person. She wants to try a text-only therapist. I'm worried that person might not be able to give her the attention she needs, and wouldn't be able to prescribe a medication if she indeed needs it.

She says some things that are very hard to hear when she's feeling especially down. Things she doesn't remember saying later, or says that she didn't mean. She thinks that I'm abandoning her by suggesting a therapist ("like making someone with a broken leg to walk to the hospital themselves"), and she says she wishes that I could fix it. I can't think of a better way to fix it than forcing her into real therapy.

What does r/mentalhealth think?

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